...curl up, snuggle in and get to reading...
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Year in Quotes 2007
Here it is...the much awaited (guffaw) Year in Quotes. Not as good as last year but ok. (There's a freakin' ringing endorsement for ya') _____________________________________ I don't do deprivation well. ____________________________________ On a totally unrelated note...George W. Bush says that he has not seen the Saddam Hussein hanging video. He says that that is not his focus, he wants to move forward blah, blah, blah. I say he's lying. I say the only believable reason I can come up with for him not seeing the video is that he had a live feed. __________________________________ I mean, I don't see why karma or fate or whatever it's called wouldn't let me win. I would keep only a fraction and give away a big chunk. It'd probably help if I bought tickets regularly, right ____________________________________ Now, mental health I think I would enjoy...I mean I would enjoy doing that as a profession not that I would enjoy mental health...I HAVE mental health, thank you. ___________________________________ How unfair is it that Jim Morrison is dead but Keith Richards lives on? I mean, really. ______________________________________ But, sweet mother of God, if your hard partyin' ways make K-fed look good you might want to tone it down a wee little bit. ______________________________________ I think I'm going to have to go all 40 years old on their asses. _____________________________________ And look at us gettin' all ghetto fabulous with our satellite internet service. Uh huh, uh huh. _____________________________________ OH NO YOU DIN'NT!! ____________________________________ The only goals I can come up with is that I will try not to read my email so much and I will try not to update my online diary from work. Just kidding. Goals are supposed to be things that you could realistically accomplish. Ha! I crack me up. _____________________________________ Anyhow, before I was so rudely interrupted....Wait! I just went to dictionary.com to check the spelling of interrupted because it looked weird and I mispelled "dictionary". Are you feelin' the irony there? I mispelled the word dictionary which is the book you use to check your spelling. *snorty laugh* __________________________________ The fact that he makes shiskebabs out of some guys cheeks?...well, every prince has his little quirks, right?
__________________________________ And if you've never sat in a hottub and froze your bangs into a unicorn horn you have NO IDEA what you are missing. ____________________________________ Okay, I'm a stupid genius...Idiot savant, if you will. ____________________________________ This is the kid that cried when we traded in the car for a new one...she "loved our car" and she "would miss it". ____________________________________ Yo! Quebec! Don't let the newly constructed border hit you in the ass on your way out! ______________________________________ Can't we just do that head-in-the-sand thing? I think I would be really good at that head-in-the-sand thing. _____________________________________ We had two swans in the river behind our house this morning. They swam by and I was telling Potatie that swans mate for life so those two are probably husband and wife (common-law or otherwise since we are unaware if there was an actual ceremony) Fifteen minutes after I tell this beautiful story of mating-for-life what happens but the two come swimming back...with a third swan with them. Can swans even say three-some? ____________________________________ Again, be a man or turn in your penis. ____________________________________ Really, it's not fair. We are so not evenly matched when it comes to psychological games. __________________________________ Yup, I've pretty much been struttin' about here like I'm am IT on a stick WITH a bag of chips! ______________________________________ That my friends is why he's PRESIDENT Asshat and not just regular asshat. ______________________________________ I have answered a question incorrectly. I have clearly demonstrated some erroneous knowledge of driving. and yet you do not point out my error or correct me so that I may adjust my driving behaviour accordingly. You simply hand me another license. ____________________________________ I want to learn before I learn so that I'm not embarrassed about not knowing something. Shut up. It's a disease ok. ______________________________________ Why can't chocolate and chips and beer be healthy, fat-fighting foods? I mean, seriously, they are all made of natural stuff...cocoa beans, potatoes, hops and well, whatever beer is made of. ____________________________________ Jerry Falwell died. I think the homosexuals, the feminists, the abortionists and the ACLU had something to do with it. ...and Tinky Winky was seen in the area. _____________________________________ I'm thinking this year i'm gonna abdicate responsibility. That's right! I'm gonna Edward and Wallis Simpson Christmas. _______________________________________ Dick is not feeling well and can't come. Ha ha ...read that last sentence over again....freakin' hilarious, I say. ______________________________________ On the way home, hubby and I were talking about it and I said that the agent clearly had "cop disease". Hubby says, "Did you say 'cock' disease or 'cop'disease? To which I replied, "Either or ...that guy had himself a bad case." ____________________________________ Unless her freakin' arm just fell off and is spouting blood in an arterial spray pattern...put the spoiled little princess back in her cell and tell her to buck up ______________________________________ UPDATE!!!: Damn you, Paris Hilton, damn you for making it so that Al Sharpton and I agree on something. ______________________________________ P.S.S.S. Paris Hilton back in jail...swweeeeeeeeet. _____________________________________ It all went well. The sedation was a beautiful thing...not out cold but just enough so I was in my happy place. I even druggily asked the guy if it was available over the counter. It's not. _____________________________________ So the Pope has issued a document in which he tells us his idea of Commandments of the Road.... You have GOT to be freakin' kidding me. With priests fornicating with and molesting kids worldwide his biggest issue is that I don't give in to road rage or use my car "as a place of sin?" With wholesale slaughter going on in many places of the world (Darfur, for Pete's sake) he thinks that it is prudent for him to tell the world that "cars shall not be an expression of power or domination?" I'll say it again...YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!! However - Praying while driving is encouraged. Oh I'll be praying all right...I'll be praying that one day we get a Pope who has a clue. I'll be praying that the Catholic Church system starts living up to its tenets and stops judging others less they be judged. Somebody once said that...I think it was God. ______________________________________ Mostly I've been thinking that she's a twit who has more mouth than brains and while articulate in the speaking sense has very little connection between what she spews and what is considered fact. (that�d be Ann Coulter) _____________________________________ Yeah, sucked like a brand new Hoover. _____________________________________ I know, I know..I left you alone for such a long time...but I cracked a window and you all were fine, right? _____________________________________ Yup, I'm tired of all that stuff, and when I become Queen of the Universe it's alllllllll gonna stop. _____________________________________ Why am I surrounded by people who get the most amazing opportunities and just display a total lack of interest? _____________________________________ ***the whole entry from both November 7 & 9 _____________________________________ I have no words. I am wordless.
10:50 p.m. - 2008-01-04
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what you missed - what you're waiting for
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