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Paris Freakin' Hilton


Are

you

friggin'

kidding

me?

Paris Hilton is out of jail.

Even though the judge in the case said no shorter sentence, no getting out early, no electronic monitoring, no no! NO!

She's out after having been "in" for only 3 days AND she's getting credit for serving 5.

Yeah, that's right - I said 5! as in five!!!!

She's out for medical reasons.

Unless her freakin' arm just fell off and is spouting blood in an arterial spray pattern...put the spoiled little princess back in her cell and tell her to buck up.

Oh, the hubby just yelled to me that the "medical" reason was that she wasn't eating.

So, all you peeps out there facing a jail sentence, once you get sentenced turn yourself in ('cause apparently YOU get to decide when you are to be incarcerated) just before midnight because then the minute you walk through the gate you already have credit for one day served.

Then don't eat once you're there. I mean maybe you can sneak food but don't let anyone see you do it. And then complain to your publicist or psychiatrist and, by all means, your mommy about how you can't sleep and can't eat.

And then when the powers-that-friggin'-be decide to let your whiny ass out early make sure they release you after midnight but like early in the day 'cause then you get credit for serving that whole day even though you just woke up and walked on out.

Oh fer crissake. I can't even go on.

UPDATE!!!: Damn you, Paris Hilton, damn you for making it so that Al Sharpton and I agree on something.

12:06 p.m. - 2007-06-07

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