Welcome to Reader's World

reader1209's diary

...curl up, snuggle in and get to reading...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If I knew then....

In the case of hindsight being 20/20..there are so many things I would have done differently in this divorce if I had only known.

It appears that I was once married to the devil incarnate.

Okay, that's a little dramatic because everything he's done has not really been evil..but he has gone out of his way to make my life difficult. In every little petty way he can.

And in dealing with the legal system (of which I am completely disillusioned) all these little things are seen as insignificant. They appear to be petty things that I'm blowing out of proportion but really put them all together and they are monstrous...especially to someone who makes such a low income and who is only trying to make a life for my children.

When I left I was still under the misguided perception that HE was a good father...that he would always and would always put the kids wellbeing first.

Yeah,not so much.

I agreed at that time to have shared custody...we each get the kids 50% of the time. Win-win right?

No.

First he threw every roadblock availabe in front of my purchase of a new house...to the point where I could have been sued. I overcame that.

Then he told everyone..and by everyone I mean people we knew, my family members, chicks he met on plenty of fish...I mean EVERYONE that I was an unfit mother and a drunk.

The drunk part was, as he says it,his opinion and he's allowed to have his opinion. I'm a drunk apparently because on occasion when we were together we would go out and have fun and the next day I would spend loafing around napping.

Mind you, he was there,the kids still got fed and taken care of (mostly by me) I just wasn't June Cleaver those days...no craft sessions at the kitchen table, no Sunday afternoon trips to the apple orchard or whatever. So maybe 5-6 times a year I enjoyed a lazy, lil hungover Sunday.

But I'm a drunk who doesn't deserve my kids.

On the flipside, I've never badmouthed him in that way (til right now, of course) about the fact that he had a DUI when the children were little that involved a 3X the legal limit breathalyzer result, I never mentioned to people about him floundering around the bathroom at 3 am breaking a soap ledge off our bathtub as he tried to stay upright while the children stood and asked "What's wrong with Dad?" Did bring up the vomit on the family room floor that was left for someone else to clean up when he stumbled to bed.

The endless nights of coming home at 2,3, 4 in the morning after being at a "union meeting" while I stayed home with the children.

Yeah..I'M the drunk.

For the first year we separated he refused to pay for Meghan's braces..so I paid...to the tune of $100 a month on top of the $191 a month I paid so that we had health benefits at all.

As a matter of fact, I kept him on my benefits for 2 years after we separated at a cost of $164 a month to me. He contributed nothing, said he wouldn't and didn't.

And when we went to court to have the divorce granted he and his lawyer said he didnt' want the divorce.

Why, you ask?

Because he wanted to stay on my benefits. And yes they actually said that. Not, "Hey, can we postpone this divorce so I can have benefits for a little longer,I'll kick in some of the cost" But a simple "I want to stay on her benefits."

And for the record ...for the last at least 5 years...I have paid for benefits for our family of 5 and he has never given me one red cent.

Yeah, fuck you...I had the divorce granted that day and his ass was off my benefits within the month.

And now he has the nerve to email me and tell me that when they take Meghan's braces off she'll need a retainer and it'll cost $450..he'd like my half.

I told him no, I had paid for the majority of the braces and all the benefits so he could pick up the $450 ( he gets reimbursed for half) and he has the balls to then tell me he's not paying and that if it's not paid they won't take her braces off...and she'll want to know why.

That's the threat. He'll blame it all on me if I don't pay half of this cost.

Oh, and did I mention that he's only paying half the child support that he's supposed to.

I'm not paying..not gonna do it.

Fuck you.

8:38 a.m. - 2010-02-23

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

what you missed - what you're waiting for