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reader1209's diary

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Some people...

Soooo...the new man?
Still freakin' awesome.

We still have that wonderful connection. We finish each other's sentences or say the same thing at the same time. Hell, we've even sent each other almost identical email messages at the exact same time.

He is hands-down the best thing that has ever happened to me..short of giving birth to my children.

But a situation has crept up that I find odd. Totally none of it is his fault nor mine but it's weird and I need to sound off a bit.

My man has obviously had relationships before...one in and after highschool in particular was a long term one but with many break-ups and get back togethers. He was with this girl for 10 years..off and on (and it sounds like an awful lot of off and on)

Anyway, that one ended for real and he ended up marrying someone else.

Through the course of his marriage he didn't associate or even speak to the first girl (who we'll call Susie).

When his marriage broke up he, or rather she, made contact again and they struck up a friendship. Around the time he met me and we developed our relationship he felt he had to tell her aobut me because he had heard from people that she felt things for him that he did not feel for her so he talked to her and she told him that that was crazy - she just wanted to be his friend.

He thought everything was good with them but then..

We are all on the Facebook networking site - he is friends on the site with both of us but she and I are not friends.

Now, I've become friends with many of his friends and family...some I've friended and some have friended me ..but not her.

Which was fine with me 'cause I didn't really know her and I kinda thought that she DID have feelings for him and probably didn't WANT to be my friend.

I knew he was friends with her and would occasionally go to visit her and her daughter. Nothing wrong with that other than a tiny bit of insecurity on my part, left over from my own previous baggage.

And you should know...we talked about all of this. My big thing is I want this relationship to be totally honest and healthy...I don't want to hide my feelings or bury them ...so I told him that I had a little voice telling me to worry but that it was very faint and going away. He was very reassuring and understood.

But he has baggage too and one time he went to go visit her and didn't tell me..in fact mentioned that he was visiting his brother but neglected to mention he was going to her house.

Of course, I found out and questioned why he lied to me.

He explained that he didn't want me to worry and we had a very long converstion about how I would worry more about why he was keeping secrets than the fact that he went for a visit.

It was settled and I felt even better about us and about them being friends.

Then she started sending him messges loaded with guilt about how she KNEW that if he got a girlfriend their friendship would suffer and how she hopes that her and her daughter would see him again sometime. But if not they would miss him and how her little girl sees his picture and wants to know if he's coming over. And how he's letting a new girlfriend tell him who he can and cannot see.

Totally not true...I encouraged him to visit but really who would want to be around someone who makes them feel bad.

Anyhow...long story short.

On Facebook you have status lines that you can change regularly - "Reader is heading to work" "Reader is thinking of someone" that all of your "friends" can see.

And my sweet boy and I often send messages through our status lines. "Reader is missing someone" "Cute boy had a wonderful night with reader"

But Susie likes to use her status line to send messages like "It was great seeing SOMEONE for longer than a half hour last night..let's hope that happens again..probably not though." and that kind of thing.

Cute boy started a message thread about a silly group he joined about spaghetti...yeah, I know it's goofy and very kid-like but it was all in fun. The thread was with Cutie, a bunch of friends and family, me and Susie.

And the messages were all silly like "I love spaghetti" and degenerating into one from me telling Cutie that he was weird but that that was ok 'cause I really liked weird and him saying that I was hot just like he liked his spaghetti.

I know, we are weird but it was giggly fun...and no one else had a problem..in fact some of his friends and family were replying also.

Well, then Susie answers and says something to the effect of "enough about spaghetti we get it..you like it. And Cutie, didn't you get enough spaghetti last night for dinner. Oh yeah I made tortellini. It was great, wasn't it?"

hmm...

I read that and got angry. I mean, I knew he went over there but this seemed like rubbing it in for no purpose.

He answered her (and everyone because it's a thread, remember) and made some innocuous comment about her being grumpy.

She answered back about how all he got out of her message was "grumpy" and that last night he said it was awesome but today he didn't say anything and why was that????? (and yes she constantly talks with a million punctuation marks.)

I read THAT and got angrier..feeling that she was implying that I was muzzling him in some way. So I (immaturely) replied and said "omg..supposed to be a fun thread, Susie"

(Which really was a reined in response I wanted to say much, much more.)

So SHE answers that everyone has different ideas of funny and Cutie knows she was just being funny and they both get each other's humour so please...reader.

(for the record he thought she was being kinda nasty.)

Then she changes her status line to "someone's girlfriend needs to relax"

Very highschool, don't you think?

So now it's gotten to the point where he wants to distance himself from her and I'm saying not to do that because she won't get that it's because of her own behaviour. She'll just blame me. And she, well SHE is writing things in her status like "people need to grow up" and the other day when his status said that he had a wonderful night with me and that I was dreamy, she put her's as "Susie is going to be SICK!!!!!"

Now, remember I'm not her friend so as far as she knows I can't even see her status lines. I can because a friend of mine relays them to me because now we find this all kinda amusing.
But that means that she's doing them only for his benefit ...the man she says she's cares about and only wants to be his friend.

I say...she's a jealous beotch who can't see past her own selfishness to be happy for someone who was unhappy for a long time and is finally is smiling again.

The good part...I'm not insecure at all about her anymore. I find her a little sad and a little hurtful to those around her and as you all know...I've got no room in my life for THOSE kind of people anymore.

But I am curious about what you all think...

11:48 a.m. - 2008-06-27

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